Tuesday, December 06, 2005

My Dear Wormwood

Your concern about your client’s popular work is entirely understandable, indeed even adorable. It would be quite worrisome for Our Master if the church was able to spread through these entertaining books and associated baubles., and every movie ticket sold for the Chronicles of Narnia was one less soul who would be joining us in the ever-after. But do you not think we have dealt with this before, an attempt by some mortal at combining religious indoctrination with commercial frenzy? The Church may have Man’s head and heart, but in every other motivation We have the advantage.

Kids enjoy reading these books about Aslan and faith, and parents approve? That’s wonderful. But who has time for a whole book these days? A movie with all the latest special effects and popular stars would be much more efficient, and much more lucrative for the people who are spreading this virus. Of course we only have two hours to keep these kids in the theaters, so make sure to get rid of meandering internal monologues about faith and love, and instead focus on shiny visuals that get the adrenalin soaring. When the kids go home they’ll want more, but a book costs $5 and could be borrowed from a friend. An interactive Video-Game however will keep the kids stimulated, can be sold at a profit many times greater, and will probably emphasize battles and violence instead of hope and growth.

If you know preachers are going to spread these books and try to create the gospel that way, then try to make sure the most polarizing preachers and opportunistic politicians are involved. No one’s going to take seriously even the most heartfelt and insightful message as long as it’s delivered by someone who goes on talk shows and engages in everyday political slander.

Not to mention this is only a mortal interpretation of The Enemy. It will have short-comings of style and theology that may be pointed out, which is the nature of our clients. Even if these are obvious or trivial things, make sure to fan the flames of controversy. Encourage some critics to raise a hue, and then encourage the publishers and their allies to treat any attack on the book as an attack on their lord Himself! Once they care more about defending their book then discussing how to better themselves, they are well on the path to idols and material obsession.

Your affectionate uncle



At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Zac said...



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